farewell pt 1
"dalam seumur hidup aku tak pernah aku ke Terengganu sehingga aku dapat keputusan diterima belajar di Universiti Malaysia Terengganu."
It was funny when my family and I went here for the first time, and we did not really find anything "interesting" except the beaches and pasar payang (for my mum). my brother teased me and said "habislah kau duduk sini mereput." and well how was I supposed to feel like? I felt moody, with all of the consequences that brought me here. I should deserve better than this, and kept blaming myself for choosing this course when applying university.
I was the one who was not really independent when it comes to living by my own (because I am used to living in the hostel, where I have got my own table, my own bed and wardrobe; I feel complete). I would rather, at that moment, chose to stay in the hostel but I didn't, because I wanted to try.
ever since I know, I cannot deal with too much stress in life. then everything was a mess. developing your strength in a middle of depression was not easy as I thought it would be. then I felt like everybody didn't understand me, I needed my own time but it was never enough. but I was wrong all the time. time flew so fast before I could realize that I cannot face all the problems all by myself.
Semester 5 and 6 were the best semesters I had ever felt, as we had that "enough" free time to spend together (perhaps the moment I started to move on from the past) and I knew that what I want was not the place, but the friendship that can make me smile and cry. I realized that everybody was willingly there to listen, share and help me sorting out my life.
I know I have been doing it wrong from the first, I was too late to tell everyone that I am ready to be there for them as they are ready for me, I wasn't being a really "good" friend, I was a mess, but above all they are still up and accept me as their friends. these are kind of friends, I will never forget and nothing I could repay but wishing them the best of luck in their life.