May 28, 2015


the person you talk about,
that bothers you so much.


May 26, 2015


you know you can't but you tried.
you know you're broken but you continue.
you know you don't have chances anymore.
so now, please stop, Arif.


May 20, 2015


what really matters to me? sometimes, I can't tell how much I love or appreciate something. I wonder why sometimes people wasted their life, creating moments that they want to forget. every moment in this life is a story, although it is not special.

that's why in this life, there is good and bad. every time we do bad, do good. if you can't do good, don't do bad. it is a simple rule that most of the people neglect it including myself. I tried so hard to do good, but it always looks bad. then, you feel like life rules you, when you are supposedly ruling life.

but what hurt most is, sometimes, life's rules don't work on certain people. for example, good looking people will be a good people. but not-so-good-looking people will not be good until they do good.

life sucks, right?

May 14, 2015

don't do

Some people do alcohol, but I didn't.
Some people play girls, but I didn't.
Some people influence other to do things.

I am just enjoying, and I do it myself.
yet I am a criminal,  I am the bad ass guy. 

Thank you guys.
your words are painful to swallow,
you actions are the blades that cut my heart,
you thoughts are the memories of mine.

when I have made wrong decision in my life,
I would never forgive myself for entire days,
or maybe months, or years, or whenever,
I find a perfect time to move on.

with this little strength I have,
and the lessons God has given me, directly,

I waste it, no more.

May 13, 2015

takan pernah

maafkan diri aku sendiri. 

takan pernah.

May 11, 2015


I am always looking for chances, but I forgot that every time I take chances, I am gambling. there is no point of taking chances but I didn't put an effort to make them real. I am a person who look for chances in every second in my life. but today I realized that chances can be very fragile and I don't want to depends on chances I had. or why not sometimes, I wait for chances to hold on me.

because being hopelessly is an agony.

May 9, 2015

bukan seorang

aku rasa pelik dengan masa yang berlalu begitu pantas,
aku rasa seperti baru semalam aku ucap selamat hari lahir,
pada umur akak yang terakhir bergelar bujang.

aku rasa pelik sekali lagi,
untuk yang kali ini,
aku ucapkan selamat hari lahir,
pada akak yang kini berbadan dua,
untuk akak yang akan bergelar ibu,
untuk akak yang akan selamanya, aku rindu.

selamat hari jadi kak, semalam :)

May 5, 2015

part of challenge?

aku punyai sebab yang cukup untuk berasa marah, tapi aku tidak. aku tahu hari yang memenatkan ni akan berakhir dengan perkara yang menyedihkan. atau marah yang aku pendam akhirnya siapa yang rasa? aku jugak,

mungkin challenge yang Tuhan bagi hari ni, untuk sedarkan aku betapa jauhnya aku dengan Dia. mungkin juga aku terlalu memohon yang terbaik dari-Nya, dan Tuhan berikan aku balasan yang setimpal. tapi aku boleh lagi tabah dengan challenge yang Tuhan bagi.

walhal sebenarnya aku musnah. Tuhan, aku sedih.