biasanya gua kat rumah pergi ke mesjid bersama bapa gua yang lagi beberapa tahun lagi nak pencen. maklumlah orang dah mula berumur ni kenalah mula berkawan dengan karpet mesjid. dalam perjalanan ke mesjid, gua usha lah awek tepi tepi jalan, ayah gua biasalah khusyuk memandu. kadang kadang tu laju juga walaupun selekoh yang pada gua yang pro memandu ni pun rasa berdebor, tapi ayah gua watlek je kona. tapi gua bukannya mata ke ranjang ke apa, cuma gua rasa kadang kadang gua dah macam kat oversea, cuma bezanya bukan negara orang kulit putih.
bila gua dah berjaya menempah tempat di menara gading ni, ditambah pula bersebelahan dengan institusi yang boleh dikatakan islamik, setiap kali gua ke mesjid, rutin yang biasa gua buat kat rumah tu gua letak tepi sebab kena belajar rendahkan pandangan gua yang kadang kadang nakal juga sebenarnya. kalau kat sini, sekali gua kerling, jarang yang tak menambat hati. wow, bahaya.
jadi tadi gua balik seperti biasa dari mesjid, tiba tiba ada tiga gadis bertudung corak flora melintasi bahagian pintu utama jemaah lelaki keluar masuk mesjid. niat hati nak usha lama, tapi gua cakap NO. bila gua dah naik moto, gua park baik punya sebelum start. gua pandang cermin sisi. wow, bahaya.
sebab gua pantang gadis bertudung corak flora. haha
semester baru gua tampil dengan sedikit unsur kelelakian yang jarang orang biasa berani tampilkan. tapi gua buat rilek biar nampak brader walaupun ramai yang pantang tengok bila gua jadi lelaki sikit. tapi pada masa yang sama gua pun rasa pelik bila gua bela bulu yang sebelum ni gua kasi sama rata dengan kulit sawo matang gua.
rasa bila gua tarik hembus nafas, dia pun ikut sama. macam lalang, angin ke kiri, dia ke kiri, angin ke kanan, dia ke kanan.
everybody has their own definition of Love. for me, my passion would be always something like a starter if you like, or a turning point after you have been searching and retreating so many times. when you have conquered your love, that is nothing attractive than being with something or somebody you love, forever.
sure feeling good has broad definition as well. there are few things in my life that would definitely make me feel good.
you know how does 'hurt' feel don't you? and when it is gone, sure it made we feel good. yes, definitely recovery makes me feel good.
good news. y'know better.
finally, good music will forever make me feel good, and dancing. club dancing, what ever you call it but it feels good though. I just love being with anyone who doesn't care how worst our dance is, we still dance and laugh (I got few people who can be my forever partner in dancing).
family surely does. but it is not in this kind of feelings.
everyone wants to feel alive with new refreshment after a moment of roughness and toughness. we want to gain new spirits, anything that would make us courageous, any at all. rejecting all the memories that brought you down, sometimes isn't helpful to feel alive. perhaps, a backbone or a basis of your further steps in life.
science does bring us to a level where every myths we know are nonsense, yes everything including beliefs and traditions that once were the most powerful medium to build up empires and human moral. and the lack of knowledge has brought you to a brand new belief, atheism.
what is your purpose of life I asked to one of these atheists, which they claim that they are free thinker. they say there is no such thing in life, a purpose. everybody can set out their life by choosing any of way they want. I wasn't so surprised as if their knowledge has been limited to the logical facts and theories in science.
how could anybody be brave to guide themselves, without following any of the religions. and if they could, they wouldn't run away from those that had been implemented in religions thousand years ago. in other words, they would return to religions eventually. you know I feel pity of atheists, most of them came from religious background. and this new belief rejects any deities.
we can refresh, and feel alive by strengthen our faith. consult any scholars who are expert in any of your wonders, and always questioning yourself while looking at the beautiful arrangement of creations. perhaps, Allah guides those hearts, and He knows best.
There is actually no god, except Allah The Almighty.
a happy person isn't always a talkative person, friendly or easy-going I define. they can be quiet, unfriendly and difficult (to approach) person. but here the quality I'd talk about is happy.
happiness is where you find peace, everything you see would be taken into positive accounts until somebody would really spoil your feelings by telling you the truth. but for me, happiness is where you stop of being sad. everyone will die. that would make sense when you know something sad is gonna happen, and you are saddened by that. because we are always sad, even life would be tough or easy.
the true believers are always happy because they understand what their life means. well doesn't mean they can't be sad, yes indeed they are when they have done wrong but eventually they'd turn to Allah, and seek for His forgiveness.
I know many of us try to get rid of certain feelings that linger in our head. we tried so hard and at the middle of the road, you feel like giving up. I'd like to reminisce about people who I really appreciate for their existence in my life, by part.
so I remember for the first time I met Z, who was my teacher, I really hated him. everything he said or did, I found something wrong with it, I felt uncomfortable. since I wasn't in his class for a year, so I didn't really know him much but I heard most of the people really found him a funny and an easy-going teacher. by the next year, ensuing my study, I have a whole year class with him in chemistry. I thought my hatred had to be getting worst towards him, until I realized that his way of teaching and character has something to do with my starting point of seeing things differently.
the open-minded person often a good person. they have a very weird kind of approach, as they respect and listen to every perspectives of people. they don't condemn but if they do, perhaps they don't take it seriously. when they sad, they would probably turned to something that they think would soothe them.
I don't really believe that life has its rise and fall. it is like you are saying that there must be something bad will happen after you are having something good.
I understand where some people have different perspectives and their principles of life and that makes you different from other people. however, sometimes we have too many things that we forget before our perspectives wrapped our mind so the following principles you made, making you hard to accept what have people told you. or maybe we are not taking any precautions to think further about what we have heard.
you can always believe in what you believe, but believe me, not all of the things you believe leads you a better life, as if some of you mind being brainwashed since where you start to believe on those things. I am not trying to change anything because I know I can't, and if I do, that would not make any differences.
I have posted an entry about miracles, and I know those were signs that God wants me to believe in Him. the latter thrives my heart and I have been strong enough, to face the world. be careful of what you have believed because I once too believed in things that lead me to atheism.
may Allah guide us and protect us from those thoughts.