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Showing posts from November, 2013

presentasi

    
semester yang penuh dengan presentasi presentasi secara saintifik,
kalau kau rasa tertekan, bimbang dengan tohmahan yang akan diberikan kelak, 
sepenuhnya kau akan rasa perkara ini berguna untuk masa masa yang akan datang,
untuk masa masa kau sendiri ketika semua dah ada laluan smasing masing,

tapi sebenarnya apa yang kita cari dalam dunia ni? Good deeds
aku mudah tertekan dengan semua perkara, 
tapi sepatutnya aku salurkan ia ke arah yang lebih baik dan bimbang jika kita semua,
gagal dalam mencapai hak yang sepatutnya kita tunaikan.


tapi janganlah bimbang itu melebihi kebimbangan yang sepatutnya kita bimbangkan,
presentasi amal kita pada Tuhan kelak yang sepatutnya kita hirau dan bimbangkan,
kerana dunia yang kita lihat tidaklah sesusah mana, jika dibandingkan dengan susahnya laluan ke Syurga.

kerana aku masih lagi belum buat apa apa untuk ke Syurga.

birthday

    
you can't count leaves that fall throughout years,
if you want to, there would be a statistical estimation,
not exact number of leaves you would find.
but you can't prove by statistical estimation,
of a countless number of love,
from me towards you.


happy birthday, sister.

nak cerita

    
buang rasa bangga, faham siapa dia.

baru cerita.

support

    
you know once I was thinking of consulting Doctor for my mental problem. but I don't know whether it is compulsory or needed. but slowly I think I don't need to. but things get serious when I am alone, the voices are everywhere.

"kau kena berkawan arip." one of my best friend. so I did try and thought there would be some support and understanding. but it never happened.



because people won't understand your situation you were once. they want you to understand them.

biarkan

    
mewahnya berpaksikan budi menilai bahasa,
mewahnya dikerumuni yang lebih daripada yang tiada,
mewahnya rasa bangga yang ada dalam hati.
mewahnya rasa tak tahu kau dalam menilai sendiri.

kau biarkan hati kau mati.

retak

    

I was asked "what is the hukum(jurisprudence) of wearing Niqab(veil that cover half of the face)?"

I couldn't easily say a firm answer from that, because I am not an expert. 

it is not about the hukum itself, I am not going to give a Dalil(supportive materials from hadith and Quran) but if you really want to do so, look up to books Tuhfatul Muhtaj written by Imam Ar Ramly or Mughni Al Muhtaj written by Al Khatib As Syarbini.

what we will do, when we love a person or a group of people who are really kind, faithful, honest, approachable and modest in many ways? what if a movie, with classic and old lifestyle, wearing robes, cloak, hats and a very messy hairs and beards all the way through the story, for example The Hobbit, or Harry Potter and you feel like turning back into their times, where horses are their cars, swords or bows are their guns and travelling and fighting are their abilities?

if you do, there it is, it is about the lust of going back to the old times. I have heard stories from experts in Islamic history, the way of living, attires and their responsibilities to each of the person in life. and I keen to know, sometimes, when judging and stereotyping are not really their concern(for certain extend perhaps few people did during those time), and how do they live their life? 

by now, when we are depressed we got dumped; as much as we talk about young love,
when we listen to the music and get obsessed to certain artists; as much as we try to look like 'em,
when we are eager and desperate to get the title, or being a ruler, or to be famous,
when we think loving creations are more important than loving the only Creator, 
there are,
people out there who wants this era we're living, diminish and replaced by those I was talking about.

so back to the question that I was asked about, you have to know, we're living at the edge of the age of world with those human rights where you can't easily judge people or discriminate certain group or gender, when your life has been arranged according to your ability and title that you hold. so be firm in what ever you do in following the right one, I love you, whoever you are, or whatever your background is, and I really want you to get what is the best for you. perhaps I don't have those bravery to do those right things because I wasn't once a good guy, but one day I will inshaAllah.

and maybe you feel like you're making things right, by being religious in all matter, but be honest and do it completely, you can't be like cutting off others head with a very extreme advice, then you're making fool of it by doing the same, not literally.

kerana gua hina, gua takan mampu berubah sekelip mata.

satu nafas untuk terus bernyawa

    
gua rasa dua tiga minggu gua rasa tak bersemangat langsung. sampai duduk depan laptop buka file close file. gua cuba selidik masalah ni, rasa gua manusia manusia yang ada semester sedikit lah memberi impak kat gua tapi gua tak rasa yang semua ni dari punca yang sama. gua rasa simptom marah yang berpanjangan ni dah mula merebak sampai gua pun tak mampu nak tahan.

jadi gua perhati dua tiga hari ni apa masalahnya, gua jumpa ni. memang punca semua benda ni dari sini, so gua pun lari bersembunyi dari realiti cuba selesaikan masalah ni. dan Alhamdulillah, gua dah sedar apa masalah gua selama ni. eh sekejap, maaf memang gua tak update benda tu kat sini sebab gua ada privasi.

jadi gua nak mohon jangan makan hati dengan gua, gua mintak maaf dua tiga minggu sebelum ni gua pun ada masalah gua yang gua sendiri pun tak tahu nak cakap macam mana tahap dewa punya masalah tu, and those things need to be considered dalam hal ni, sebab kalau gua memang suka kongsikan rasa gua melalui simptom marah yang berpanjangan tu kena tempias tu biasa lah. biasa simptom gua marah berkala tapi entah lah.

jadi kadang kadang gua rasa yang satu ni perlu dididik dengan sepenuhnya, bagi makan nasi, dan gua pasti dia akan kembali macam biasa. cuma ambil masa. cuma ambil masa untuk bernafas kembali untuk terus bernyawa.


yang itu ini gua cerita tu hati.

keterangan lelaki wanita

    
lelaki atau wanita,
atau kedua-duanya?

kau rasa semua benda perlukan penghargaan,
kau perlukan penjelasan yang jelas dalam setiap pergerakan,
kau harapkan kawan semua perlu lakukan apa yang kau harapkan,
bila tak selalu kau punya perkara itu maka mula kau terlebih perasaan,

tapi ada perkara yang bukannya pengharapan yang kau harapkan,
kau cuma perlu menerima kekalahan bila kau harapkan kemenangan.

timbulnya masalah kau ni kan,
terlalu daif dalam menyimpan harapan,
ceritakan setiap satu apa yang kau lakukan,
mencari perhatian melalui rasa yang kau kesalkan,
kepada semua manusia melalui semua saluran,
padahal ada benda yang kau perlu untuk ceritakan,
ada yang bukan untuk pameran,
dan ada yang untuk tetamu jemputan.

tapi,
kau masih mengejar kisah kau lagi,
yang kau ceritakan kepada aku beberapa kali,
yang kau memintas perbualan aku yang kesekian kali,
yang kau selalu membanggakan tentang kau dan kau lagi,
tanpa kau fahami apa yang aku nak isi awal kali ini,
kemudian kau kata kau memahami,
what is this?

tak perlu aku rasa kau nak mengadu,
terima apa orang kata buruk kau dahulu,
selepas kau perlahan-lahan bangun bukan melulu,
dan perlahan-lahan nak kata kau tu bagus ini dan itu.

maaf tapi aku rasa,
selepas semuanya,
aku himpunkan kertas kerja,
dapatan aku sebenarnya,
kau tiada apa.

cuma kau berbaju lelaki wanita.