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Showing posts from June, 2013

importance of things

peace be upon who reads. this entry I will not specify on a particular topic but I let things flow out from my head as smooth as it will be.

well everyone has their own perspective at reading someone's material and it may be hard to get to know the hidden message as if we are not sure the purpose of the writing. years back I had always wondered why some people can't understand each other whether that is between a couple, friends, among the family members, politic parties, students and so on. there is no exception. we are all in the same boat! we can also misunderstand in our way of thinking. occurring within yourself. 

everything gets simpler everyday. they are all become handy and affordable till we forget the basic principle of life, that is hardship. our thoughts have been synchronized that simple thing is important, but important thing is not simple.

I tell you a bigger picture, so you can think in various manners if you like. 

I like to watch my mother's cats behavior. and I would like to post an entry about it next time. 

entahlah

tiba tiba rajin decorate blog. 

cantik tak? hehe

tenangnya air semalam

aku bukan seorang yang pandai mengadu domba. aku juga seorang pencerita.
dua pertiga daripada apa apa yang aku cerita, semuanya berunsurkan cinta.
pengalaman cinta yang aku pernah rasa, yang pernah membuatkan aku terluka.

sekarang, aku bukan lagi mencari cinta yang sama.
tetapi untuk mencari yang lebih gagah dari awalnya.
kerana apa, cinta itu aku tamsilkan ia seperti pesawat.
jika ia rapuh, tiada makna untuk ia terbang.
jika ia kukuh, ia perlu sepadan dengan keadaan.
jika ia padan, ia perlu terus melepasi lautan.
dan akhirnya jikalau ia berjaya, belum.
selagi bumi masih belum disentuh lembut olehnya.

salam cinta dari aku yang hilang kepada Dia

sekarang

dalam keadaan yang aku terdesak mencari nikmat nikmat cinta.
cinta yang layu, ditiup angin lalu jatuh menyentuh tegang air tenang. 
dibawa arus bawahnya basah, diatasnya masih boleh disentuh kering.
masih kekal dengan warna hijau tua, semakin gelap semakin berat.
menanti masa untuk berhenti, habis basah jadi lahir semula semua.

seperti tiada apa.

hope that seems lost

harapan tu memang ada dalam semua orang termasuk gua. tapi sebenarnya gua hairan kenapa ramai orang yang mana dia takda langsung berusaha dari awalnya, kemudian berharap pada pertengahannya, dan harapan itu bersinar pada akhir cerita. gua tak rasa sinar tu hadir dengan sengaja. I can't believe, but it just did.

gua sedih dengan apa yang gua rasa, well everyone does in certain point, we just have to accept what happened. though, sekarang gua jarang rasa bermotivasi, setiap hari hadir perasaan tak puas hati. gua pernah sekali try to get over what are the things that messed with my head but gua rasa world here is so much different with what I had before. tapi gua bernasib baik ah, ada member yang faham gua, kadang kadang still gua rasa semangat tu yang tegakan tulang tulang gua kat sini daripada yang selalu nak patahkan semangat gua je setiap hari.

anyway, let's try again next semester, with a new hope, after a long break we have. gua janji siapa siapa yang menghalang gua semester depan, gua akan pilih di antara jari jari gua yang terbaik untuk di pamerkan untuk tatapan mereka. and to all who have been supportive towards me, direct or indirectly I would like to thank and I can't let this end without anything to smile when we're old, love. Sekian.

gua tak pernah salahkan takdir. jadi jangan risau, gua buang sampah awal awal. 

melangkah ke belakang sedikit

why. hati gua ulang ulang benda ni sampai muak. paling gua tak boleh, carry on conservation, ah failed. tapi takpa ah, cuaca baik lagipun takda rasa untuk mencela hari ni. hari yang mana gua dah dapat jawapannya.

kenal dah lama, cuma tak pernah jumpa. dulu gua rasa macam ada satu masa dulu semua gunakan medium internet untuk mencari cinta, yes. gua pernah tapi gua pun tak faham macam mana boleh jadi macam tu sebenarnya haha. 

and some of them, quite went well till we have become, hm friends? or we might as well happen to be strangers again. all of the expectations would happen after two invisible souls encounter each other.

I can't believe I met you :)

ah

dalam banyak banyak benda, satu ni je yang paling menggelikan. tahu apa? drama.


kenapa entah semua benda perlu terasa. lu bukan kekasih gua. tolonglah -.-

I just don't

"pergi berkawan lah. kau tak boleh nak kawan dengan orang yang sepadan dengan kau. sampai bila kau nak hidup sorang. belajar berkawan." - Berskala (2011)

hampir semua pernah rasa kejutan budaya, yang mana kau sebenarnya di dunia yang sama, cuma keadaan yang berbeza. kau perlukan satu cerita untuk dibina, untuk diceritakan kembali pada masa yang sama. tetapi aku hairan, kenapa sesetengah manusia gila, gila dengan apa yang dia ada, always strut dengan apa yang dia ada. pernah rasa?

aku jugak sama tiada beza, cuma aku menghormati kau punya gila, dan sepatutnya kau lakukan benda yang sama. kalau kau kata itu pendapat aku untuk racun minda kau, cuba kau buka kamus cari perkataan hormat dan cuba kau baca. aku tak minta kau mesti ada apa yang aku ada, bodohnya. cuma ada sesetengah benda, perlu sama ada dalam semua manusia. perlu jadikan tauladan untuk bermesra, bukan larikan diri bersama kawan lama. dude, we are not even best friends yet, why should you have to be merajuk tak tentu hala?

grow up human, friends do need each other for reason, don't misunderstand this is a whole, while best friends doesn't. you can choose to be forever friends, or forever best friends. so don't be a fool alright?


but you know something, there will be no best friends, but firstly being friends :)

believe me

if one day I would be mad. don't blame me, fools. I am about to heal my wound of depressions, casually distracted when it is not at the right time to happen.


because you stop my nerve, from being cured.

keliru

manusia itu keliru dengan perbuatan mereka sendiri. berdiam dan mengasingkan diri. sehingga masalah timbul, gelisah entah kenapa berlari lari untuk bangun dengan menegakan fahaman dan cadangan penyelesaian, sedangkan diri sendiri tak tahu punca masalah itu apa sebenarnya. ee malunya.

lain kali nak rasa membantu, bergomol dengan semua. bukan hanya orang yang boleh memuaskan nafsu kita sahaja. booo

if

If I want to get to know you. or you want to get to know me. let's do things.


and let it be a secret.

obsession

this was me back in years I don't remember. I was really bad at something, I wasn't sure if I was bad, or things that happened to me were not acceptable and so then I felt bad. I never blamed on anyone, in exceptional occasion I did. but in matter of my decisions, what I had decided was always went wrong at somewhere. til now, I dunno what I had felt once before would happen down the road.

I happened to be a needed person, which were you too I supposed. I wanted to be a great man, with full of ideas that matters, not only in my studies but in extension, my life. but I have a restriction, boundaries and challenge, I called it 'sickness'. yes I have a lot of mental disorder by the way, well I don't want to talk about it anyway. I am always surrounded by people who looked foolish for the first thought, but they weren't at the journey. I called them foolish as I am too. I can get used to them, or maybe use them for extent. but they can get out of my term, as they wish. because foolish makes people curious, at the same time, annoyed.

that's too much for the introduction. here we go, the obsession. one secret, which it seems not too extreme in case, I have what I called it, 'a come and go obsessive mind situation'. as simplest as I can, I have those. but I can't always help it. it's like, a snatcher together with his hand watch. when the time has come, the snatcher will do their job and run away from me, as I turn it back he is already gone. I know I could find track on him, but it's too many to carry.

"you don't love me, all you are with your obsession." - Radio.

at the moment I realized that, I have too much matters to be obsessed. I couldn't let it out, I couldn't just let the snatcher keep snatching my obsessions. I need to carry on, even with loads on my back. not only for my particular year, but my whole life I would add. and for you my dear, sorry I have to say,



"in a matter of obsession and love, I rather want to be obsessed than get in love, with no idea how love works on you.".

have you

ever been in a situation, where you are in a circle of happiness, full of mirrors. and the darkness of your past, has become one of your life. you can't go anywhere. the circle you are standing gets no bigger nor smaller. and you are just standing there and watch yourself. you talk to yourself, that you would be different or better everyday. but you are too enjoyed and annoyed looking at yourself. places of no one understands where you could cry and no one knows. when you are trapped with the dress you wore, the dried unwashed blood, and the tired eyes that cry. but you just can't get out from the trap you have created, years back. and only what you have to face is, yourself.

have you ever been haunted by yourself? or even cried to haunt your better one?


I have.

sebuah cerita yang hilang


 yang mana aku pun tak tahu mana awal, mana akhirnya.